How I became the Quilt Puppy

You may have noticed that the name of my dogblog is “The Most Excellent Life and Times of Willie the Quilt Puppy.” You may also have wondered, “How did such a thing as a quilt get into the act?”

No. 1 is always fooling around with hunks of cloth. Sometimes she sits at a table and runs a contraption that goes whiiiirrrrr.

Other times she sits with a big blankie on her lap and does things with it. Sharp implements are involved.

first-sampler

At these times I am not allowed to sit on the blankie on her lap. I can lie under the blankie, or I can lie on the part of the blankie that is on the floor (but for some reason she moves it frequently so it’s not all that satisfactory).

In my opinion, the hunks of cloth could be left just the way they are. A pile of them makes a good bed, and they would be fun to scrunch up. No. 1 does not agree. So I abide by her wishes and take up my self-appointed duties as the Quilt Puppy. Here’s my job description.

    • Keep No. 1 company in the studio.

    • Dog-approve all quilts by lying on them at some stage of completion, testing them for comfiness.

    • Fetch spools of thread that have rolled under the sofa.

My favorite quilting activity is the reading of magazines.

Very edifying.

Very edifying.

I take my duties seriously. In fact, it will come to pass in a few years’ time that No 1 will name her whole company after me. But that’s another story, one that will be told in the fullness of time.

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: September 27th, 2009 under Quilting - No Comments.

Good places to sleep

Good places to sleep are mainly on top of No. 2. He’s more floppy than No. 1.

No. 2 is more prone to naps.

No. 2 is more prone to naps.

See what I mean?

See what I mean?

Here’s an example of a place to sleep that is not good. I really wonder about the Klingons sometimes.

What was she thinking?

What was she thinking?

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: October 11th, 2009 under Naps - 1 Comment.

A tree came inside

Now it’s all brrrr outside again and the white stuff is back. You won’t believe this, but a tree came inside… right inside the house! Maybe it was cold.

Lots of new things around too.

Lots of new things around too.

One morning we ripped all the paper off of those new things that were lying around. Oooh, that was fun! They let me help and I ripped and tore with my teethies!

No. 1 got that large item. She uses it to put blankies over.

But, the most exciting thing that happened was right after lunch. Since the humans have trained me to lie down through dinner and always give me some of their food afterward, I’ve gotten the idea that doing a ‘down-stay’ is a good idea if I want a treat at any time, even if they don’t tell me to do it.

So I did a very polite ‘down-stay’ while they were eating lunch, and do you know what I got?
THE BIGGEST DOG BISCUIT I’VE EVER SEEN!

No. 2 got it out of the bag of dog biscuits that I had gotten under the tree. No. 1 said, ‘That big thing’ll make him sick,’ but of course I’m smarter than that. I ate two of the knobs, and then just carried the rest around with me the rest of the day, from the bedroom to the living room and back. There’s nothing better that carrying a big dog biscuit in your mouth.

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: October 12th, 2009 under Foods - No Comments.

Something unusual’s going on

ohio-house
Something suspicious is happening in our home.

I think it all started when the humans took me for a ride in the car with the Klingons. You have to realize that Klingons and cars don’t mix. The only place they ever go in a car is to the vet. But this time, we just drove around for an hour, and the humans said something about getting them used to long car rides. Why?

After we had been driving for half an hour with no apparent decrease in yowling inside the car, No. 2 made up a song called “99 Kitties Crying and a Dog.” He sang it to the melody of “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” It went, “99 kitties crying and a dog. 99 kitties crying. Give one a pill, make her get ill, you’ll still have 99 kitties crying and a dog.” I didn’t like this song. How did this dog get mixed up with 99 Klingons? Why did they give one a pill? How did it end? What does it mean?

Then the humans’ friends started coming over. One night it was No. 1’s friends, the ones who use sharp implements like she does.

thursday-quilters

Another friend, who has lots of dogs, came over and had lunch. This human is goofy and knows how to have fun.

Lynnie

Lynnie

Then we went to some more friends’ house and had dinner.

linda-dinner

That wasn’t all that much fun. At these humans’ house, there are at least eight white boxers. Maybe it’s only three or four, but when they come at you and smell you all over and bat at you with their great clumsy paws, it seems like boxers everywhere you turn. Here’s one of them.

They all look the same from down here, trust me.

They all look the same from down here, trust me.

Finally, something strange started to happen in our house. The humans’ stuff started getting put into boxes.

frigidator

The only benefit I can see to this development is that for the first time I can get into the frigidator! All the way into it! It should always be this way!

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: November 3rd, 2009 under Quilting, Strange occurrences - 1 Comment.

The long, long car ride

Some humans came and took away all of our boxes and our bed and our frigidator and everything. But No. 1 and No. 2 are still here so it’s all good. That’s what really matters to a dog.

car-ride2

No. 1 put one of the Klingons in her bubble in the back seat and put me in the front seat and we went for a car ride.

It was a really long car ride. My favorite place to roost on long rides is the little part of the car that goes between the front seats. It’s just papillon-sized.

Finally the car stopped and No. 1 rolled down the window. Another human walked up and guess what! It was No. 2! I did not know that he came too! This was a happy!

He brought our other car and there were the other Klingons. I jumped in to inspect the situation.

car-ride1

car-ride3

We went into a little room that had a bed in it. Now I know why you would want to give a Klingon a pill. The humans had given the one in my car a pill to make her sleepy so she wouldn’t go “Meooooowr! Meoooowrrowr!” the whole time in the car. This didn’t turn out to be the best plan, because that night when we were all trying to sleep, this Klingon was all loopy and she kept clawing No. 1’s arm and fastening her teeth in No. 1’s elbow. Finally No. 2 took the drunken Klingon off our hands and we got some shut-eye.

The next morning it was back in the car. They didn’t give her any more of the goofy pills and she did fine, just went to sleep in her bubble. Me too. I dozed on the console, just waking up enough to accept crumbs of cheese-cracker sammiches that No. 1 got for lunch and then back to dozing. If the sun got too hot in the front seat, I crawled into the back seat and slept on top of the pillow next to the Klingon.

Each night we would stop and No. 2 and the other Klingons would appear and we would go into a different little room with a bed. This went on for several days. One morning we got a slow start because that same pesky Klingon got herself lost. See, she’s goofy enough already, she didn’t need any pills to make here worse. The humans called her and called her, and they kept asking me where she was. What am I, a bloodhound? No help here. We looked up and down the halls and asked everybody, but we were still down a Klingon.

Finally No. 1 started turning the room upside down. She found a rip in the mattress. They lifted the top of the bed up and… nothing. Then No. 1 said, “I see a lump!” That dumb Klingon had crawled inside the bed and was sleeping inside the top part like it was a hammock. Oy, what a bother. We finally got out of there and weren’t sorry to see the back of it.

My favorite stop on our long, long car ride was a place that was not just a room, but a whole house.

howdy3

Okay, there was some sort of a Springer spaniel there that got on my nerves, but other than that it was fun!

howdy1

howdy2

We went outside and there was lots of room. I could run! Run the wide open range, like a coyote!

howdy4

howdy5

But the next day it was back on the road. We got to one place where there was no bed. In fact there wasn’t much of anything.

last-stop

No. 1 went into one of the rooms upstairs and I kept hearing her say a word that I know all too well. “No. No no no no no.” I went to see what all the fuss was about.

orange-room

“Howard Johnson!” she kept moaning. I didn’t see it was as bad as all that… it’s just wavelengths, as No. 2 would say. Apparently it was supposed to be this color:

blue-swatch

We slept on some class of a thing on the floor. The next morning I expected we would pack back into the cars. I was getting used to this life on the road, and like I said, all a dog really needs is his pack.

But… I was so surprised! We stayed!

Woofs,
Willie

[No. 2 here: We want to thank the Howdy Pardner Bed and Breakfast for showing Willie such a wonderful time when we passed through Cheyenne, Wyoming. A dog loves his wide open spaces!]

Posted: November 28th, 2009 under Car rides, Other dogs, Strange occurrences - No Comments.

Our boxes are here!

Our boxes came! And our sofa and our bed and even the frigidator! How did they know where we went?

boxes-arrive

Those crazy Klingons have been freaking out in these first few days in our new home. The humans go looking for them and find them in the kitchen cabinets, under the sink, and even one time up in the cabinet with the dishes! What are they so nervous about? I guess they’re settling down some now.

I went with No. 1 and No. 2 to some class of a parade. There were a lot of stompy feet and I had to be quick on my feeties not to get stepped on.

westies

Hmph! What happened to the Papillon contingent?

This is the way that things look around where we live now. That’s a lot of water down there.

coast

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: December 18th, 2009 under Other dogs - No Comments.

Exploring our new place

After all our boxes got unpacked and it looked as if we were going to stay here a while, the humans started taking me around this new place where we are living.

One of the first places they took me was to The Beach. This seems to be a big deal to them. They seemed to have hopes that I could learn to be a Water Dog, like all the deluded canines in this picture.

I could be at home on a comfy blanket, but my humans brought me here.

I could be at home on a comfy blanket, but my humans brought me here.

Well, I could give you lots of reasons why The Beach isn’t such a fun place for me, but the main ones are water, water, water, and water.

  1. That’s a whooole lot of water out there. If it doesn’t fit in my water bowl, I don’t want anything to do with it.
  2. This water makes noise and goes in and out and sometimes splashes up over my head. Water isn’t supposed to do that. Water is supposed to stay in the bowl.
  3. This water tastes terrible.
  4. If papillons were meant to go in the water, they would be laborador retrievers.

So when they take me to The Beach, I keep as far away from the water as I can. It’s fine at a distance. One good thing about The Beach is the sand. It’s soft and squishy and flat. It feels good to just run around in any direction. No. 2 likes to do that too so we run together.

No. 2 took a picture of me striking a heroic pose. He says I look like Rin Tin Tin. I’m just wondering how long I have to stand on this rock, and how soon I can get back in the car where the wind isn’t blowing.

King of the hill

King of the hill

After a while the humans figured out a place to go that I like a lot better. It’s really close to our home, it has a nice civilized sidewalk, it has some water but not the crazy kind, and plus there’s a park up above the water with regular grass that I can run around on. When the weather is warm we go there almost every day.

A good place to walk

A good place to walk

For some reason the Klingons never go on these walks with us. Back where we lived before, we would all go together for walks in the woods. But here there aren’t any woods close by and there are more streets and cars. Both the Klingons and the humans seem happier if the Klingons just stay on the patio and sleep.

Seems pretty unexciting to me.

Seems pretty unexciting to me.

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: February 7th, 2010 under Outings - No Comments.

How I became the Quilt Puppy

No. 2’s sister sent a Klingon rug. One of our Klingons decided to pretend she was a pop-up Klingon.

One of these things is not like the others.

One of these things is not like the others.

No. 1 is making the blankies like crazy. She has her stuff all set up in the extra room upstairs, so much stuff you wouldn’t believe it. A lot of it is soft and scrunchable, which is nice for a dog. I work closely with her on all stages of making the blankies.

This is a good perch. I can see pretty well from here.

This is a good perch. I can see pretty well from here.

This is a good place to hang out too.

This is a good place to hang out too.

One time No. 1 packed the suitcase and went away for a few days. That was no good. When she came home I helped her unpack. She gave me this souvenir collar.

The collar's nice but don't go away any more, okay?

The collar's nice but don't go away any more, okay?

Here I am on a blankie that has poodles on it. I approve this blankie.

Willie

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: March 11th, 2010 under Quilting - 1 Comment.

My NotSoExcellent Adventure

You’d think with a name like Bertram Wilberforce Woofster Mackenzie III, I’d thoroughly enjoy an outing at a place called Loch Lomond… but not so much.

Most of it is okay, in fact good as far as a dog is concerned. We ride in the car, get out, and eat a picnic lunch. The humans let me get right up on the picnic table!

Then we go for a walk along the nice path next to the loch (which as far as I can tell means a ginourmous puddle of water).

It's a nice day for an expedition!

It's a nice day for an expedition!

Humans are so slow.

Humans are so slow.

It's a good path.

It's a good path.

Being a dog of a naturally curious nature, I tiptoed out onto a sideways tree to see what these humans were doing.

I smell fish.

I smell fish.

On the way back, No. 2 wanted to go out to this island.

big-island

Now the thing about an island is, it’s got water all the way around it. That’s why they call it an island. But the humans were sure that I wanted to go too so No. 2 rolled up his pants, picked me up, and waded out the the little island on the way to the big island.

halfway-there

No. 1 stayed behind ( a sensible plan, if you ask me) and I gazed at her across the divide. Then No. 2 picked me up and off we went to the big island.

We poked around a bit, it was okay, but we were not with No. 1. that is the important thing. When No. 2 finally started back, I got all excited and ran down the hill lickety-split. I was so eager to get back to No. 1 that when I reached the bank, despite never having swum in my life, I plunged into the water!

No. 1 claims her heart stopped.

My dog-paddle instincts kicked right in. I got my feeties going and I was doing a very respectable job if I do say so myself. However, that water was not cooperating. It took me to the side! So I sensibly paddled around in a little circle and headed back towards No. 2. By that time he had reached the shore and he didn’t even stop to roll up his pants, but waded right in, plucked me out of the water, and carried me to the safety of the little island.

From there the water was shallow enough that I could walk the rest of the way back to No. 1.

wading-back

When I reached her she exclaimed over and over again how glad she was to get me back, not drowned. Then she said, “What a mess!”

What?

What?

dirty-feet-2

Hey, it wasn’t my idea.

Woofs,
Willie

No. 2 here: Just in case anyone’s confused, the pictures were taken at Loch Lomond in California, not in Scotland!

Posted: April 12th, 2010 under Outings, Strange occurrences - No Comments.

My favorite foods

    • Meat
    • Meat
    • Meat
    • Steak
    • Hamburger
    • Cheeseburger
    • Turkey
    • Chicken
    • Fish
    • Duck
    • Any kind of meat
    • Meat
    • Lasagna
    • Spaghetti
    • Peas
    • Broccoli
    • Green beans
    • Carrots
    • Buttered popcorn — mainly the butter
Is it time to eat now?

Is it time to eat now?

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: April 19th, 2010 under Foods - No Comments.

GoRVing

Gorving, gorving, that’s all the humans have been talking about for weeks now, plus the word Yosemite keeps coming up. Suddenly we go and get a ginormous car. They pack all sorts of stuff into it and take the Klingons to Klingon Camp and we drive away and that’s gorving.

clamper1

A home away from home they call it. Me, not so much. There’s no center console for a little dog to ride on! Not that comfortable IMO.

The first night, we stop in a place that has lots of these great big gorving cars. It has a little building and for some reason No. 2 decides he needs to howl at the moon like the coyote on the side of it.

I am not impressed.

I am not impressed.

That night we slept in a bed that’s right inside the car! That’s what makes it a gorving. It was not all that comfy.

The next day we stop for lunch beside the road. Now we’re talkin!

Mine? Mine? Mine? Mine?

Mine? Mine? Mine? Mine?

Ah, the life of the open road.

Great so there's a crystal clear lake back there. Where's the sofa?

Great so there's a crystal clear lake back there. Where's the sofa?

We get to a place where there are trees bigger than they have any right to grow.

Not even a Great Dane needs a tree that big.

Not even a Great Dane needs a tree that big.

Still, there are fun times.

Sittin' on a log with No. 1.

Sittin' on a log with No. 1.

Sittin' with No. 2 in an interesting area.

Sittin' with No. 2 in an interesting area.

One time they tried to leave me in the gorving in my crate. I did not approve of this, and I let them know! Vociferously! This is not MY home away from home. You must not leave me here alone!

Pretty soon No. 1 came back and said she only hoped that No. 2 would not break his neck during his hike.

No. 2 came back safe and sound. Whew!

We saw lots of sights like this one.

Bridal Veil I think they called it.

It’s fine as long as all that water stays over there.

So all in all, gorving is not my thing. I’m just a home dog at heart. But still there were some fine times. Any time I’m with my humans!

prettygood1

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: May 7th, 2010 under Car rides, Foods, Outings - No Comments.

Chicken feet

No. 1 says I have chicken feet.

chicken-feeties

I don’t know why she would say that.

chicken-feet

So I have to endure my feeties being trimmed. It’s not as bad as the nail trim, but still.

Neat feet.

Neat feet.

The only good thing is that I get a treat at the end.

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: July 15th, 2010 under What I have to put up with - 2 Comments.

Seriously?

I’m in a pet show on the interwebs!

A nice human friend of No. 1’s, who lives in a place called Bunny Hill, put up lots of pictures of dogs and Klingons and other animals. No. 1 decided to send her a picture of me, and which one does she choose? Me after a bath.

Now that is not my finest hour, bath time. In fact, baths should be banned. There’s no reason to be stuck in the sink, wet down, lathered up, massaged, then rinsed endlessly, just when I’ve built up a good doggy patina. Yet the humans insist on carrying out this barbaric ritual every so often (read way too often). They do give me cheese, but this is only a sop to the indignity. After the bath I’m wet and cold and I run around the house like a wild creature, so No. 1 swaddles me up in No. 2’s old bathrobe. The humans find this hilarious so they decided to take a picture of me in my reduced capacity.

Couldn’t she have sent the bunny lady a picture of me standing atop a green mountainside with the wind blowing through my luxurious fringes? Running across a flowered meadow? Bravely defending humans from a savage cougar?

No, she sends the bath picture.

Willie after bath

Oh well, at least it’s my 15 minutes of fame.

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: August 15th, 2010 under What I have to put up with - 2 Comments.

New blankie

No. 1 went away for the weekend. As you know, I am not in favor of this. The pack should be together at all times. However, it’s not so bad if at least No. 2 stays home.

When No. 1 came home she brought a new blankie that she had made. I tested it out right away.

This is Willie and I approve this blankie.

This is Willie and I approve this blankie.

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: October 16th, 2010 under Quilting - 1 Comment.

The coming-home kiss

It used to be, when we lived in that other place before, that No. 1 stayed home and No. 2 tromped off in the day and came home just in time for dinner.

Now that we live here in this warm place, it’s No. 2 who stays home and No 1 gets dressed and goes away in her car in the day.

I stay home with No. 2 and keep him company while he taps-taps-taps on his computer all day. At about a certain time in the afternoon, I get a feeling, and I say to myself, ‘Self, I think it’s about time for No. 1 to come home.’ So I take up my station at the top of the stairs.

This is a good vantage point, because from there I can keep an eye on No. 2 and I can also see the front door and listen for the car.

Pretty soon I hear the car drive up and I hear the door shut, and I set up the barking! “She’s home! She’s home!” I bark at the top of my lungs. The door opens and there she is! I run down the stairs, barking her home.

Then I run to jump up on the back of the sofa.

Incoming!

Incoming!

She leans down and I give her a kiss!

Smooch!

Smooch!

And she gives me a liver treat. That’s the way it works.

If she’s talking too much when she comes in, or forgets, then I tag her heels giving her the big bright eyes until she remembers. It’s wonderful when No. 1 comes home, but it’s just not right if I don’t get liver.

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: January 24th, 2011 under The way we do things - 1 Comment.

Klingons are sneaky

Kingons are seriously sneaky. They pad around on their soft little feeties and they get their twisty bodies into places you wouldn’t expect. Then they pop out when you’re least expecting it.

The music? Really?

The music? Really?

I have to keep my wits well about me at all times. Life with Klingons. Sigh.

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: February 4th, 2011 under What I have to put up with - 1 Comment.

Agility

No. 1 says that she first learned about papillons when she saw one at a dog show doing something called agility.

The took me to a field with all sorts of things lying around in it and that was agility. I had to touch my paws to stuff, climb stuff, jump stuff, walk across stuff, crawl through stuff, generally do a lot of things that made little sense. But the humans seemed intent on it so I played along. There were liver treats involved, so that helped.

Back at home, we practice. It is much more fun. No. 1 lays her blankie rack down on its side and I jump over the legs.

Halfway across!

Halfway across!

I jump, like the wind! I am agile!

It's so exciting, I must bark to the moon!

It's so exciting, I must bark to the moon!

Now? Now? Now? Now?

Now? Now? Now? Now?

I am too swift for your camera.

I am too swift for your camera.

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: March 12th, 2011 under Fun things - No Comments.

I’m up on the wall!

No. 1 and No. 2 decided that they wanted to look at me up on the wall, in addition to looking at me in person all the time.

A nice human came over, and she brought her young human and guess what, they have a phalene! A phalene is just exactly like a papillon except their ears go down instead of up. My long lost cousin!

Angel and me getting treats from the young human.

Angel and me getting treats from the young human.

After the visit, pretty soon my portrait arrived and No. 2 stuck it up on the wall.

Very handsome if I do say so myself.

Very handsome if I do say so myself.

Woofs,
Willie

No. 1 here… the fabulous pet portraitist is Tamara Burnett.

No. 2 here… I am so glad that we had Tamara paint this picture. (It was my birthday present to No. 1!) After becoming acquainted with Willie, she mostly worked from a photo. When Tamara first brought the painting to us, it somehow didn’t look quite right. Then we figured out what was missing. There is a tiny spot on the left side of his nose, which was not really visible in the photo. We asked Tamara to paint it in, and then suddenly … wham! It was Willie! It was amazing to me that such a tiny detail could make such a big difference. I really appreciated Tamara’s willingness to work with us to get this keepsake just right.

Posted: March 14th, 2011 under Fun things, Other dogs - 2 Comments.

Frosting

A human who knows all about the genetics of papillons got in touch with No. 2 and told him that she thought I was a frosted sable.

Apparently, some of us have a gene inside us that makes the colors on our heads and ears fade out early.

I don’t know anything about that. I think if I had frosting on me I would know it, because frosting is very sweet and delicious. Nevertheless they stuck some pictures of me up on a page on the interwebs as an example.

Frosted papillons

My humans say they don’t care a whit, and my fur feels the same, so no big whoop!

You be the judge.

Me as a youngster.

Me as a youngster.

Me at four years old.

Me at four years old.

And BTW, humans still stop me wherever I go and say I’m so cuuuute.

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: April 10th, 2011 under Strange occurrences - No Comments.

The making of the bed

One of the most fun things EVER is the making of the bed.

First, No. 2 takes all the blankies, the sheets, and everything off the bed. This is very exciting. All of a sudden there is a great wide expanse of empty bed for me to run around on, spin, jump, bark, rumpage, and FRAP!

Sometimes No. 2 joins in the fun.

Really?

Really?

Then he gets a new sheet and stands at the end of the bed. “You ready?”" he asks me.

I was BORN Ready!

He flaps the new sheet high in the air! It is so exciting!

I spin like a whirling top!

I spin like a whirling top!

I surf the sheet, catching the leading edge and conquering it.

The sheet comes down.

The sheet comes down.

You try to cover me but I am too swift.

You try to cover me but I am too swift.

No. 2 never gets it right the first time, and is forced to repeat the maneuver.

He is chagrined.

He is chagrined.

Do it again!

Do it again!

I am ready for Phase 2!

I am ready for Phase 2!

Then come the rest of the blankies and the pillows, etc. And the fun is over, until the next time!

Woofs,
Willie

Posted: April 20th, 2011 under Fun things, The way we do things - 2 Comments.