You’d think with a name like Bertram Wilberforce Woofster Mackenzie III, I’d thoroughly enjoy an outing at a place called Loch Lomond… but not so much.
Most of it is okay, in fact good as far as a dog is concerned. We ride in the car, get out, and eat a picnic lunch. The humans let me get right up on the picnic table!
Then we go for a walk along the nice path next to the loch (which as far as I can tell means a ginourmous puddle of water).

It's a nice day for an expedition!

Humans are so slow.

It's a good path.
Being a dog of a naturally curious nature, I tiptoed out onto a sideways tree to see what these humans were doing.

I smell fish.
On the way back, No. 2 wanted to go out to this island.

Now the thing about an island is, it’s got water all the way around it. That’s why they call it an island. But the humans were sure that I wanted to go too so No. 2 rolled up his pants, picked me up, and waded out the the little island on the way to the big island.

No. 1 stayed behind ( a sensible plan, if you ask me) and I gazed at her across the divide. Then No. 2 picked me up and off we went to the big island.
We poked around a bit, it was okay, but we were not with No. 1. that is the important thing. When No. 2 finally started back, I got all excited and ran down the hill lickety-split. I was so eager to get back to No. 1 that when I reached the bank, despite never having swum in my life, I plunged into the water!
No. 1 claims her heart stopped.
My dog-paddle instincts kicked right in. I got my feeties going and I was doing a very respectable job if I do say so myself. However, that water was not cooperating. It took me to the side! So I sensibly paddled around in a little circle and headed back towards No. 2. By that time he had reached the shore and he didn’t even stop to roll up his pants, but waded right in, plucked me out of the water, and carried me to the safety of the little island.
From there the water was shallow enough that I could walk the rest of the way back to No. 1.

When I reached her she exclaimed over and over again how glad she was to get me back, not drowned. Then she said, “What a mess!”

What?

Hey, it wasn’t my idea.
Woofs,
Willie
No. 2 here: Just in case anyone’s confused, the pictures were taken at Loch Lomond in California, not in Scotland!
Edited: April 12th, 2010