In the land of the giants

No. 1, No. 2, and I took another car trip, to a place called the city.

It was very different from our last road trip, when we went to a place that had a wooden house, trees, places to run around, and no other humans anywhere you could see. This new place had lots and lots of people, and almost no ground at all! It was all asphalt and concrete, everywhere you looked. Where’s a dog supposed to pee? No. 1 and I looked and looked, and we couldn’t find any grass or ground cover or even any mulch! What kind of place is this?

I wasn’t sure what I was going to do until a city dog came along and showed me. There are little grates, about one foot by one foot, with some ground underneath and a tree in the center. Sometimes there would be a little square without a grate, and that was the spot for a potty break. Pretty pitiful if you ask me.

Aside from the lack of facilities, it wasn’t such a bad place. We had a really comfy bed, at least until No. 2 got up at a ridiculously early hour.

Can't you see some of us are still sleeping?

To get to our room you would get in a little closet with a metal door, and then a motor would whir and you’d feel as if you were moving and yet everything in the closet would stay in place. Eventually the motor would stop whirring and the door would open, and then we would be in a different place! How do they do that?

No. 1 was busy most of the day, so No. 2 and I got in the car and drove around the city. We stopped at a place where No. 2 said the giants played. It’s funny, though, I didn’t see any giants, just normal-sized people.

The park where the giants play.

No. 2 took this picture of me with a plaque, which he says shows one of the most famous giants. This one was named Willie, just like me! Willie Mays. Have you heard about him?

My favorite giant.

After visiting the park we walked along the waterfront. And walked. And walked. It was a looong walk. I still didn’t see any giants, but it seemed as if you really would have to be one to live in a place like this. No. 2 walked the legs right off me. Later that day, I slept in the car almost all the way back home.

Woofs,
Willie

Edited: October 16th, 2011

Flowers and gardens

Paws up and many thanks to all my interweb friends for your nice words about losing a member of the pack. Me and the humans appreciate it. Biscuits for you.

Today I’d like to talk about one human quirk that I’ve never quite understood: They like plants. Especially flowers.

Our front door.

Let me just say for the record that I’ve got nothing against flowers. But I can’t eat them, and their scent is not the kind of perfume that a dog appreciates, so for me they’re just a part of the background.

I’s a different story for the humans. They think flowers are cute. That means they have to take pictures of them. Sometimes they even want to have a dog in the picture.

Fine. I'll pose by your hibiscusus.

No. 2 wasn’t satisfied with just growing flowers by our front door. A few years ago, he got a little garden plot in a nearby park, and he started growing them there, too.

No. 2's garden

I like these flowers. Know why? Because we have to take a walk to get to them!

Going for a walk to the park with my two humans is one of my favorite things. We take our time on the way to the garden, stopping to sniff all the pee-mail along the way. When we get to the garden, No. 2 picks some flowers and vegetables. Then he uses a magic rain shower device to make it rain. I do not care for this part, because sometimes the rain gets too close to me. In fact, sometimes I even wonder if he makes it rain on me on purpose.

But then comes the best part: the walk home! To a dog, there’s no place like home. Somehow this part of the walk never lasts as long as the walk to the garden. Maybe it’s because I’m out in front with my special going-home gait. Hurry up, you guys! What’s taking so long?

Woofs,
Willie

Edited: October 2nd, 2011

Roughing it (again)

I’m not a really big fan of roughing it (see my story about gorving). It was all the same to me that we hadn’t really been on any camping-type trips since then. But No. 1 came up with a place she thought I might like.

Little cabin in the woods

Now this is what I call roughing it! You have walls. You have a floor. You have light. You have heat in case it gets too cold. (No. 1 also praised the hot water for showers — not that I would know anything about that.) Best of all, you have a bed to curl up on.

No. 2 likes the loft, which you get up to by climbing a ladder. This part isn’t really dog friendly, but it’s monkey-friendly and also 50-year-old-teenager friendly. He went up there and we almost couldn’t get him to come down again.

How's the weather up there?

When you want to go outside, you open the back door and there you are, in the middle of a forest. And there was almost no one else around!

Here I am, showing off my mountaineering skills.

I am a wolf in the forest.

Sad to say, we spent only one night here, and then we went to a big hotel for awhile. There wasn’t much for a little dog to do. It was noisy, confusing, and there were soooo many people, everywhere you looked. I had to be careful not to get stepped on.

Maybe roughing it isn’t such a bad idea after all. I didn’t much care for gorving, but gocabining is all right with me!

Woofs,
Willie

No. 2 here: If any of you are wondering where this is, these are the Shinneyboo Creek Cabins, just a stone’s throw from the I-80 highway to Reno, an exit or two past Emigrant Gap.

Edited: August 22nd, 2011

Really, I’m a very good driver

Some of you may not really believe that a dog knows how to drive. (See my last story.) Well, here is more proof.

Looking out the front window is for wimps. I look out the side.

I usually handle the technically complex job of driving the car when the ignition is turned off. Anyone can drive with the motor on, and so I leave that easy part to Number 2.

Nothing like going for a spin in the parking lot.

Oh, by the way, Number 2 wants you to look at his beautiful new car. He likes how quiet it is, and the fact that it doesn’t have to go to the place with the long hoses and the greasy smell quite as often. But as far as I am concerned, it has the most important thing, which is a good center console in the front seat so that the dog can sit between the two humans.

Woofs,
Willie

Edited: June 27th, 2011

A long car ride

We went on a long, long car ride. I thought I would drive.

Everybody in, and buckle up!

No. 2 insisted on driving and made me shove over. When we go for long car rides, the humans fix up the car so that I can take my place on the center console and my hind legs don’t fall down. That’s good.

We finally got there and it was a great big room with lots of humans working on blankies. You never saw so many sewing machines. No. 1 went to the side room and talked with a nice human friend for a long time. You can listen to their talk over here.

No. 2 and I stayed on the sofa and listened. Finally No. 1 finished talking and came over to sit beside me. I was glad to get her back.

I see you with your camera, No. 2.

After it got dark we drove home. It was a pretty fun day.

Woofs,
Willie

Edited: June 24th, 2011

GoRVing

Gorving, gorving, that’s all the humans have been talking about for weeks now, plus the word Yosemite keeps coming up. Suddenly we go and get a ginormous car. They pack all sorts of stuff into it and take the Klingons to Klingon Camp and we drive away and that’s gorving.

A home away from home they call it. Me, not so much. There’s no center console for a little dog to ride on! Not that comfortable IMO.

The first night, we stop in a place that has lots of these great big gorving cars. It has a little building and for some reason No. 2 decides he needs to howl at the moon like the coyote on the side of it.

I am not impressed.

That night we slept in a bed that’s right inside the car! That’s what makes it a gorving. It was not all that comfy.

The next day we stop for lunch beside the road. Now we’re talkin!

Mine? Mine? Mine? Mine?

Ah, the life of the open road.

Great so there's a crystal clear lake back there. Where's the sofa?

We get to a place where there are trees bigger than they have any right to grow.

Not even a Great Dane needs a tree that big.

Still, there are fun times.

Sittin' on a log with No. 1.

Sittin' with No. 2 in an interesting area.

One time they tried to leave me in the gorving in my crate. I did not approve of this, and I let them know! Vociferously! This is not MY home away from home. You must not leave me here alone!

Pretty soon No. 1 came back and said she only hoped that No. 2 would not break his neck during his hike.

No. 2 came back safe and sound. Whew!

We saw lots of sights like this one.

It’s fine as long as all that water stays over there.

So all in all, gorving is not my thing. I’m just a home dog at heart. But still there were some fine times. Any time I’m with my humans!

Woofs,
Willie

Edited: May 7th, 2010

My NotSoExcellent Adventure

You’d think with a name like Bertram Wilberforce Woofster Mackenzie III, I’d thoroughly enjoy an outing at a place called Loch Lomond… but not so much.

Most of it is okay, in fact good as far as a dog is concerned. We ride in the car, get out, and eat a picnic lunch. The humans let me get right up on the picnic table!

Then we go for a walk along the nice path next to the loch (which as far as I can tell means a ginourmous puddle of water).

It's a nice day for an expedition!

Humans are so slow.

It's a good path.

Being a dog of a naturally curious nature, I tiptoed out onto a sideways tree to see what these humans were doing.

I smell fish.

On the way back, No. 2 wanted to go out to this island.

Now the thing about an island is, it’s got water all the way around it. That’s why they call it an island. But the humans were sure that I wanted to go too so No. 2 rolled up his pants, picked me up, and waded out the the little island on the way to the big island.

No. 1 stayed behind ( a sensible plan, if you ask me) and I gazed at her across the divide. Then No. 2 picked me up and off we went to the big island.

We poked around a bit, it was okay, but we were not with No. 1. that is the important thing. When No. 2 finally started back, I got all excited and ran down the hill lickety-split. I was so eager to get back to No. 1 that when I reached the bank, despite never having swum in my life, I plunged into the water!

No. 1 claims her heart stopped.

My dog-paddle instincts kicked right in. I got my feeties going and I was doing a very respectable job if I do say so myself. However, that water was not cooperating. It took me to the side! So I sensibly paddled around in a little circle and headed back towards No. 2. By that time he had reached the shore and he didn’t even stop to roll up his pants, but waded right in, plucked me out of the water, and carried me to the safety of the little island.

From there the water was shallow enough that I could walk the rest of the way back to No. 1.

When I reached her she exclaimed over and over again how glad she was to get me back, not drowned. Then she said, “What a mess!”

What?

Hey, it wasn’t my idea.

Woofs,
Willie

No. 2 here: Just in case anyone’s confused, the pictures were taken at Loch Lomond in California, not in Scotland!

Edited: April 12th, 2010

Exploring our new place

After all our boxes got unpacked and it looked as if we were going to stay here a while, the humans started taking me around this new place where we are living.

One of the first places they took me was to The Beach. This seems to be a big deal to them. They seemed to have hopes that I could learn to be a Water Dog, like all the deluded canines in this picture.

I could be at home on a comfy blanket, but my humans brought me here.

Well, I could give you lots of reasons why The Beach isn’t such a fun place for me, but the main ones are water, water, water, and water.

1. That’s a whooole lot of water out there. If it doesn’t fit in my water bowl, I don’t want anything to do with it.
2. This water makes noise and goes in and out and sometimes splashes up over my head. Water isn’t supposed to do that. Water is supposed to stay in the bowl.
3. This water tastes terrible.
4. If papillons were meant to go in the water, they would be laborador retrievers.

So when they take me to The Beach, I keep as far away from the water as I can. It’s fine at a distance. One good thing about The Beach is the sand. It’s soft and squishy and flat. It feels good to just run around in any direction. No. 2 likes to do that too so we run together.

No. 2 took a picture of me striking a heroic pose. He says I look like Rin Tin Tin. I’m just wondering how long I have to stand on this rock, and how soon I can get back in the car where the wind isn’t blowing.

King of the hill

After a while the humans figured out a place to go that I like a lot better. It’s really close to our home, it has a nice civilized sidewalk, it has some water but not the crazy kind, and plus there’s a park up above the water with regular grass that I can run around on. When the weather is warm we go there almost every day.

A good place to walk

For some reason the Klingons never go on these walks with us. Back where we lived before, we would all go together for walks in the woods. But here there aren’t any woods close by and there are more streets and cars. Both the Klingons and the humans seem happier if the Klingons just stay on the patio and sleep.

Seems pretty unexciting to me.

Woofs,
Willie

Edited: February 7th, 2010